ahh... had another terrible day at work again. bloody busy from 8am to... 8pm. im so really working for every cent of my pay+bonus this month. met up with the usual suspects at simpang and also my beloved derrick ! been awhile since i last saw him, noticed that his boot had something xtra. new woofers ! big woofers ! woof ! WOOF ! had a nice n long chat with them, n saw my other colleague there as well, wat a freakin coincidence. simpang suddenly became the "happening" joint for me. rofl. gosh im so lame.
working in an environment mixed with different people from different races, ages sure widens my life. i mean, i feel that i've grown in a certain way eversince mixing around with my colleagues, more mature? more confident? more kuai lan? i dont know. but i'll always remember this line my mentor told me during my first week of orientation, i quote " take a picture of yourself now and take another picture a few years later. you will look different, in a more confident way." how true, how true. this job has changed me... then again, the stress level of this job never fails to drop, it can only go higher and higher. but what i've learnt thru the interactions with different people and the handling of different situations has broadened my perspective on life.
basically put, my job allows the insight of the stupidity of some, the avaricious side of some, the kindness... the good, the bad and the horrendous. period. sometimes i feel im "forced" to mature faster to be able to handle these situations... hopefully, i will be able to put what i absorbed to good use and not let it just drift away...
anyway,
enough of my work shit. it's a neverending story.
I just realised that half of my pay+bonus has magically disappeared ! ... !!! i have no idea where i spent it on, im currently left with half of my pay. i have got to start on a more concrete plan of saving $$$. im still considering a weekend car but when the thoughts of maintenance, petrol, parking, etc come to mind, i shudder. i mean, i can afford a car now, it's just a matter of me drinkin less, smokin less per month. but is it worth it? sure, a car is blardy useful. but heck, im stayin 5mins away from my office, i can even run there in a breath. if i use the vehicle, it's for my nightly outings but then again, do i really need it? i quote another colleague of mine, "buying a car is a luxury. no matter how much supporting statements you can come up with, as long as u buy it, its considered a luxury. it's not a necessity, its a luxury. u can also deem it as throwing $$$ into the sea. its an investment with 0 returns." guess i'll leave that thought static for the moment... hopefully a lucky toto strike will allow me to continue those thoughts...
anyway,
i have been "enjoying" singlehood for around 6 years, it's time for me to look for a partner. then again, i have been lookin all these while, it's just that, things cant really work out for me in my head when it counts. sure, i may look/sound like a whiner when i state these thoughts in my blog... but hey, it's my blog. bite me.
i've always believed in fate. i mean, in a universe so vast, a timeline of centuries, i am allowed to be borne in this era, gettin to know my people and deeming them as my pals, friends, etc. it has got to be fate of some sort. i believe its my luck too, to have known so many people i reckon as pals. but to no avail, i still have not found her. havent you tried believing that your partner is out there somewhere, mayb next to you on the train, walking past you in a busy street, standing behind you when you're ordering kopi-o? u get the idea. tried so many times till eventually at a certain stage, you'll give up trying. some people like to say, 顺其自然. but as my motto goes, an opportunity comes once in a lifetime, u'll dont get second chances on ur doorstep just like that. if u've never tried, u'll never know what u've missed unless u've tried. currently im tryin, not that hard. but will she know? i doubt so. mayb what the surveys say are right, asian men are afraid to express for fear of rejection. i will continue trying, as achieving this relationship means alot to me, even if she has gone to the arms of another person, she'll always, and i DO mean ALWAYS have a place in my heart.
anyway,
enough of my freakin bullshit for one night, i think im turning all yellow and mellow(It rhymes!). guess i'll end this off with a phrase a man once said, here goes...
" 你能选着爱我或不爱我，可是我只能选着爱你或更爱你。。。 "
corny shit right? i think im suffering from an overdose of teh-cino. forgive me.
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