= my speakers sing [corny chinese love songs] = & = i'm feeling... [whee whee] =
hm. just splurged on a new freakin zippo while waiting for someone the other day ! Silver Sunrise... Oxidized body with a tint of silver. mmm been aiming for that for a long long time. since someone didnt really catch the hint... (i dont blame u my dear. hahaha) didnt really regret gettin it, since i simply am fascinated with it. actually procrastinated about buyin it cos of the hefty price...(put it bluntly, 50 bucks for a lighter, abit liao lui lor.) but... its my style ! haha.
anyway,
played mahjong at her friend's house, been losing alot... i guessed 1 house paying 3 isnt really winning is it? but still, its only a friendly game, its the process that counts. 2 of her good friends have left for london, sure she feels sad, but at least the consolation is im still around? hahaha... i got a baseball bat from her friend as a parting gift !
weird?
sure...
but meaningful,
it is.
he said some things that i will keep lodged in my mind for a long time to come, in case he stumbles upon this entry, yes my good friend, i will try to keep my end of the bargain. if not, pls feel free to unleash upon me your fury together with your darling bat.
will try to upload some pics that i took recently... been very very tired mentally & physically but to me, it's worth it ! till i have more to pen, take care, take cover, but don't take, DRUGS ~~~ hahahaha.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Bliss.
= mtv sings [Ryan Cabera - True] = & = i'm feeling... [Ecstatic.] =
went down to dempsy today wif her after she finally gotten her crow tattoo. but i must admit, it really looks nice... the tattoo artist was good. not sayin that anything on her would look bad. but it was rather impressive. dempsy wasn't really what i expected it to look like. at least not located on a hill that far in. but its nice, nice atmosphere n great wine. mayb it's time for me to switch... nah. haha. spent the time there wif her n her friends... had nice conversations... i hope i didnt seem to be a little slow, quiet n retarded cos i was actually quite tired when we reached there... certainly hope i didnt offend any of her friends...
anyway,
had a caesars session the day she came back wif amao... neve realised that he would have the answers for some of the questions i posed to myself. affairs of the heart apparently. i must admit, our views on love/whatever things have a certain understanding and similiarities. mayb thats y we're bros man. well, the more engrossed we got in the conversation, more emotions sort of erupted... and no, i did not ejaculate on the spot. rather, i suddenly got in touch with my feminine/softer side that not many, NOT MANY, in the world has seen. well, when emotions arise, things tend to happen... oh well, dropped by caesars after beavers(caesars wasn't open when we came.) n i remembered that i didnt drink much, but i got knocked out pretty fast... mayb cos of the lack of slp, goin dinner-less or my mind wasn't concentrating. she did drop by after, which was very much appreciated... i wanted to hold her so much before she came. after she arrived, at a point of time i really couldnt control myself anymore... (thanks bro for tryin to cover up for me.) i didnt exactly blast out... hell no. i managed to control.
blah blah n a couple of hrs later, some1 suggested ktv. great. after we got there, someone decided to leave early. great great. but... after he left, i certainly enjoyed myself. it was nice, just the two of us. enjoying something together. haha. well, we left at 4 and had a long walk(in a circle, im sorry, my dear. i get lost during the night.) and another conversation. in case any1 is just wondering, i posed a question to her on vday... didnt really want to push her for an answer, just wanted to know how she feels... well...................................... all i can say is,
yay. basically as simple as i can put it. yay. im in love. nuff said. haa.
went down to dempsy today wif her after she finally gotten her crow tattoo. but i must admit, it really looks nice... the tattoo artist was good. not sayin that anything on her would look bad. but it was rather impressive. dempsy wasn't really what i expected it to look like. at least not located on a hill that far in. but its nice, nice atmosphere n great wine. mayb it's time for me to switch... nah. haha. spent the time there wif her n her friends... had nice conversations... i hope i didnt seem to be a little slow, quiet n retarded cos i was actually quite tired when we reached there... certainly hope i didnt offend any of her friends...
anyway,
had a caesars session the day she came back wif amao... neve realised that he would have the answers for some of the questions i posed to myself. affairs of the heart apparently. i must admit, our views on love/whatever things have a certain understanding and similiarities. mayb thats y we're bros man. well, the more engrossed we got in the conversation, more emotions sort of erupted... and no, i did not ejaculate on the spot. rather, i suddenly got in touch with my feminine/softer side that not many, NOT MANY, in the world has seen. well, when emotions arise, things tend to happen... oh well, dropped by caesars after beavers(caesars wasn't open when we came.) n i remembered that i didnt drink much, but i got knocked out pretty fast... mayb cos of the lack of slp, goin dinner-less or my mind wasn't concentrating. she did drop by after, which was very much appreciated... i wanted to hold her so much before she came. after she arrived, at a point of time i really couldnt control myself anymore... (thanks bro for tryin to cover up for me.) i didnt exactly blast out... hell no. i managed to control.
blah blah n a couple of hrs later, some1 suggested ktv. great. after we got there, someone decided to leave early. great great. but... after he left, i certainly enjoyed myself. it was nice, just the two of us. enjoying something together. haha. well, we left at 4 and had a long walk(in a circle, im sorry, my dear. i get lost during the night.) and another conversation. in case any1 is just wondering, i posed a question to her on vday... didnt really want to push her for an answer, just wanted to know how she feels... well...................................... all i can say is,
yay. basically as simple as i can put it. yay. im in love. nuff said. haa.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
moments of worry. hero or zero?
= my speakers sing [nothing.] = & = i'm feeling... [scared.] =
managed to meet up and spent the entire day after work with her before her flight... dropped by her friend's house for a tan(i didnt tan. i dont ever tan. hahaha.) ate some very spicy n weird tasting pizza... afterwhich i "exchanged" a few pointers with her friend on DefJam: FFNY and i should apologise... i've been playing the game for quite some time and he just got started not long ago... oops? heh, surprisingly had a round of mahjong before leaving... win! $1.90. lol. she needs more practice. sent her home n waited while she prepared for the flight. apparently the whole family came home at around nearly the same time... her mom gave me a scary look (E.g. what the hell is this guy doing here. ROFL) ms forgetful remembered the timing of her flight wrongly ! haa. luckily made it on time but her departure was rather haste... haiz...
anyway,
saw sylvester(singapore idiot sly) just now outside my hq ! visiting maya? lol. didnt expect him to be so short and lame-beng. and all that commercial on whiter teeth? my ass ! he smokes like any other regular singaporean beng ! geez... well, met up with gib n mel just now... mel just bought a book on Absolut ! appropriately named, "The Absolut Book." a sort of pictorial on their advertisment campaign and very nice ! gib bought an iPod ! wtf?! dont like it man. prefer my zen still. lol.
anyway,
updated them on my status... anticipating the arrival of sunday. this is some intense shit! argh. cant stop thinking about her. i think im goin kuku. if i get to sit alone, i'll start to think about her. am i turning psycho? rofl. the truth is... 99% of me is trying to convince myself negative shit so even if i fail, it wont b that bad? 1% is secretly hoping it'll work out? (so bloody pessimistic. but i dont really like to be over confident.) but i cant help but feel sad even thinking about it. well, the more you think, the more shit pops up. im such an ass. i cant really screw this up. this is how important it is to me. but... there is always the "her" factor. well, whatever comes from her, i cant help it, right? i just hope that i've done enough for her to give me a chance. i seem to be bloody pessimistic. argh. i just hope my corny-ness did not scare/put her off. gahaha. this will be the longest 3 days of my life so far... but... as i mentioned in my previous posts, as long as she is happy, im happy too. be it whether i'll b able to give happiness to her one way or another. im scaring myself way too much. suddenly, richard marx is playing in my head. Lyrics.
this post feels weird. these rants seem to be damaging my personality. oh man... im turning in a tetra-whiner ! haa?
managed to meet up and spent the entire day after work with her before her flight... dropped by her friend's house for a tan(i didnt tan. i dont ever tan. hahaha.) ate some very spicy n weird tasting pizza... afterwhich i "exchanged" a few pointers with her friend on DefJam: FFNY and i should apologise... i've been playing the game for quite some time and he just got started not long ago... oops? heh, surprisingly had a round of mahjong before leaving... win! $1.90. lol. she needs more practice. sent her home n waited while she prepared for the flight. apparently the whole family came home at around nearly the same time... her mom gave me a scary look (E.g. what the hell is this guy doing here. ROFL) ms forgetful remembered the timing of her flight wrongly ! haa. luckily made it on time but her departure was rather haste... haiz...
anyway,
saw sylvester(singapore idiot sly) just now outside my hq ! visiting maya? lol. didnt expect him to be so short and lame-beng. and all that commercial on whiter teeth? my ass ! he smokes like any other regular singaporean beng ! geez... well, met up with gib n mel just now... mel just bought a book on Absolut ! appropriately named, "The Absolut Book." a sort of pictorial on their advertisment campaign and very nice ! gib bought an iPod ! wtf?! dont like it man. prefer my zen still. lol.
anyway,
updated them on my status... anticipating the arrival of sunday. this is some intense shit! argh. cant stop thinking about her. i think im goin kuku. if i get to sit alone, i'll start to think about her. am i turning psycho? rofl. the truth is... 99% of me is trying to convince myself negative shit so even if i fail, it wont b that bad? 1% is secretly hoping it'll work out? (so bloody pessimistic. but i dont really like to be over confident.) but i cant help but feel sad even thinking about it. well, the more you think, the more shit pops up. im such an ass. i cant really screw this up. this is how important it is to me. but... there is always the "her" factor. well, whatever comes from her, i cant help it, right? i just hope that i've done enough for her to give me a chance. i seem to be bloody pessimistic. argh. i just hope my corny-ness did not scare/put her off. gahaha. this will be the longest 3 days of my life so far... but... as i mentioned in my previous posts, as long as she is happy, im happy too. be it whether i'll b able to give happiness to her one way or another. im scaring myself way too much. suddenly, richard marx is playing in my head. Lyrics.
this post feels weird. these rants seem to be damaging my personality. oh man... im turning in a tetra-whiner ! haa?
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
WOW.
= my speakers sing [songs of love?] = & = i'm feeling... [Enthralled.] =
This has got to be the weirdest and best valentine's day i've ever spent. well, actually this is the first valentine's day i spent with a girl. (stop sniggering. -.-) it has definately been a very very enriching experience.
anyway,
spent it with her of course. brought her to the beach at changi ! a little corner tucked away just nice for the two of us. we had a very very nice heart to heart talk and i let it be known to her about my feelings. i said some really fucking corny lines that even when i think abt it, goosebumps will popup. (i meant every single word i say.) i told her not to answer me immediately, instead to think abt it over the week. afterall, i'll only get to see her on sunday... hopefully, she's willing to take a dive with me. (pun not intended.) but the last hour with her at her void deck allowed me to have another perception of her. (dont worry my dear, its not for the worst.) i actually did enjoy it. i mean, it's not everyday some1 of the opposite sex shares some things with you that you would have NEVER EVER imagined it being told. but i really did enjoy that conversation we had. i mean, i enjoyed her company the whole night, but that is like the icing on the cake.
(im super tired. i gotta attend a meeting in an hrs time. fuck.)
in summary, i just want her to know that, no matter what happens, i don't care if u dump me for another guy, if u told every1 else i have piles, if u decide to rape me n leave me, bottomline, i just want you to be happy. really. if i could help u tide thru this period. i'd love to. but love is always unconditional. i give but to expect no returns would be lying to you. i only wish to hear u say that u have liked or tried to like me in the process. i would be satisfied. call me a dumb bloody mofo, but this is how much i like you. (stop saying ure screwed up. i certainly dont think so.)
i just hope for a chance for something to happen. i really want u to know what you've been missing all these years. haa.
This has got to be the weirdest and best valentine's day i've ever spent. well, actually this is the first valentine's day i spent with a girl. (stop sniggering. -.-) it has definately been a very very enriching experience.
anyway,
spent it with her of course. brought her to the beach at changi ! a little corner tucked away just nice for the two of us. we had a very very nice heart to heart talk and i let it be known to her about my feelings. i said some really fucking corny lines that even when i think abt it, goosebumps will popup. (i meant every single word i say.) i told her not to answer me immediately, instead to think abt it over the week. afterall, i'll only get to see her on sunday... hopefully, she's willing to take a dive with me. (pun not intended.) but the last hour with her at her void deck allowed me to have another perception of her. (dont worry my dear, its not for the worst.) i actually did enjoy it. i mean, it's not everyday some1 of the opposite sex shares some things with you that you would have NEVER EVER imagined it being told. but i really did enjoy that conversation we had. i mean, i enjoyed her company the whole night, but that is like the icing on the cake.
(im super tired. i gotta attend a meeting in an hrs time. fuck.)
in summary, i just want her to know that, no matter what happens, i don't care if u dump me for another guy, if u told every1 else i have piles, if u decide to rape me n leave me, bottomline, i just want you to be happy. really. if i could help u tide thru this period. i'd love to. but love is always unconditional. i give but to expect no returns would be lying to you. i only wish to hear u say that u have liked or tried to like me in the process. i would be satisfied. call me a dumb bloody mofo, but this is how much i like you. (stop saying ure screwed up. i certainly dont think so.)
i just hope for a chance for something to happen. i really want u to know what you've been missing all these years. haa.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
happy muthafuggin new year.
= my speakers sing [nothing.] = & = i'm feeling... [super duper tired.] =
Happy new year to all ! May the rooster bring some sort of chicken luck to everyone ! (What the fuck am i talking about? whatever!) well, im personally very glad that an unfortunate episode that happened at work has concluded. but the result is yet to be determined... im sad too... my own teammate... the one responsible. at least the whole team's behind him.
this new year has been rather lethargic... i've spent the last couple of days slacking and slacking and slacking at home. can't really be bothered to join my family for visiting... afterall, it's not as if we are going to do some heavy duty visiting... it's a lot more toned down then previous years. not really doing any visiting cept for those immediate relatives... gettin more n more boring each year. this year has got to be the most tiring one yet and i haven't done much ! spent so much time at home, alone. smoking to the extent of passing out.
anyway,
i'm glad that i managed to get a day off today ! been really, really stressed out at work. i'm glad to have talked to her about it... and i really appreciated the words of encouragement from her. she might not think it's much, but it was her words that kept me goin on... or rather, from blowing up. i definately need to tell her how i feel about her soon. very soon. can't miss the moment like before, way before. i screwed up once, not gonna screw up again. guess this is a chance i'll have to take. *cross fingers*
Happy new year to all ! May the rooster bring some sort of chicken luck to everyone ! (What the fuck am i talking about? whatever!) well, im personally very glad that an unfortunate episode that happened at work has concluded. but the result is yet to be determined... im sad too... my own teammate... the one responsible. at least the whole team's behind him.
this new year has been rather lethargic... i've spent the last couple of days slacking and slacking and slacking at home. can't really be bothered to join my family for visiting... afterall, it's not as if we are going to do some heavy duty visiting... it's a lot more toned down then previous years. not really doing any visiting cept for those immediate relatives... gettin more n more boring each year. this year has got to be the most tiring one yet and i haven't done much ! spent so much time at home, alone. smoking to the extent of passing out.
anyway,
i'm glad that i managed to get a day off today ! been really, really stressed out at work. i'm glad to have talked to her about it... and i really appreciated the words of encouragement from her. she might not think it's much, but it was her words that kept me goin on... or rather, from blowing up. i definately need to tell her how i feel about her soon. very soon. can't miss the moment like before, way before. i screwed up once, not gonna screw up again. guess this is a chance i'll have to take. *cross fingers*
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Songs of a hungry heart.
= my speakers sing [nothing.] = & = i'm feeling... [threatened.] =
Creed - My Sacrifice
" ...When you are with me
I'm free,
I'm careless
I believe
Above all the others
We'll fly
This brings tears
To my eyes... "
i'm feeling abit looney due to the fact that i experienced a bad day at work. i guess meeting up with her for an hr or so was the best part of the day n after reading her blog, a sudden surge of mixed emotions arise...
competition maybe?, i sense.
jealous, i feel abit.
crappy, definately.
over sensitive, a little.
hope he's not her cup of tea, certainly.
nonsense i'm yakin, confirmed.
but more attacks of romance, i will attempt.
making her fall for me, my goal.
shut the fuck up and go to sleep, consider it done.
in case anyone is wondering why the hell i posted the lyrics there, its because thats how i feel when im with her !
Creed - My Sacrifice
" ...When you are with me
I'm free,
I'm careless
I believe
Above all the others
We'll fly
This brings tears
To my eyes... "
i'm feeling abit looney due to the fact that i experienced a bad day at work. i guess meeting up with her for an hr or so was the best part of the day n after reading her blog, a sudden surge of mixed emotions arise...
competition maybe?, i sense.
jealous, i feel abit.
crappy, definately.
over sensitive, a little.
hope he's not her cup of tea, certainly.
nonsense i'm yakin, confirmed.
but more attacks of romance, i will attempt.
making her fall for me, my goal.
shut the fuck up and go to sleep, consider it done.
in case anyone is wondering why the hell i posted the lyrics there, its because thats how i feel when im with her !
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Excuse me, but I'd like to...
= my speakers sing [Take That - Nobody Else] =
I'd like to... help you on your work whenever you need it.
I'd like to... be your first passenger when you own a car.
I'd like to... pick you up from the airport when you return home.
I'd like to... pray for your every flight to be smooth sailing.
I'd like to... make a passport because of you.
I'd like to... keep you company, even if it means just sitting next to you, keeping very quiet.
I'd like to... perfect a duet with you.
I'd like to... take a stroll with you along the beach.
I'd like to... sip a cuppa with you on a sunny day just slacking somewhere.
I'd like to... let you hold me when we're watching a scary movie.
I'd like to... massage you when you come back from a flight.
I'd like to... hug you and make you warm when you're feeling cold.
I'd like to... make you happy.
I'd like to... make you feel loved the way you should be.
I'd like to... be with you~~~
I'd like to... help you on your work whenever you need it.
I'd like to... be your first passenger when you own a car.
I'd like to... pick you up from the airport when you return home.
I'd like to... pray for your every flight to be smooth sailing.
I'd like to... make a passport because of you.
I'd like to... keep you company, even if it means just sitting next to you, keeping very quiet.
I'd like to... perfect a duet with you.
I'd like to... take a stroll with you along the beach.
I'd like to... sip a cuppa with you on a sunny day just slacking somewhere.
I'd like to... let you hold me when we're watching a scary movie.
I'd like to... massage you when you come back from a flight.
I'd like to... hug you and make you warm when you're feeling cold.
I'd like to... make you happy.
I'd like to... make you feel loved the way you should be.
I'd like to... be with you~~~
