considerations, freedom, life, death.

= i am watching on HBO... [8 Mile.] = & = i'm feeling... [moodless.] =

yesterday... yesterday night i did something which i havent done in a very long time... walk a very long distance... with company. the thing that i havent done in a long time is not the walk... but there was company. haha. from simpang to eunos... didnt even realise it was an hr and a half long before we decided to hop on a cab for the rest of the journey... (well, we did walk to kembangan before giving up...) mayb cos of the fact that we were having a nice chat along the way...

anyway,

heard from her that she's gonna move in the very near future... gonna let her parents know and hope to get their blessings... dont know how successful she's gonna be... but... i guess thats what she wants... i hope to see the place that she likes so much soon or maybe help with the moving... oh well...

anyway,

been thinking random thoughts during late nights or when im alone... i've realised that even though i'm still very much in love with her... i'm beginning to think whether is it one sided or not... not that if it's one sided then i'm gonna like disappear from her life or something... but... i just get the feeling sometimes that a part of my heart has died. 心凉了 that kinda feeling... doesn't mean that i'll stop loving her... i don't think i ever will stop... but maybe i need to understand her more... or rather... understand me more... road to self discovery begins... maybe i need to experience something new too... a new hobby? a new genre of music? a book? a new life? shit happens... anything can happen... who can tell? frankly, im sick of this life... thats why i've been telling my friends... i'm 23 and i'm already waiting to go. not like i'm gonna kill myself or something... maybe i'm just trying to find someone to understand me for what i am all along...