sleep is for the weak.

= my speakers sing [光良 - 童话] = & = i'm feeling... [zombish.] =

the clock is stilling tick tocking... 24hrs without sleep and counting... im surprised that i've managed to survive in a hell-like schedule for more then 2 years already... my biological clock is totally screwed... not that i consider myself noctural, but its more like, i wont even sleep in the day OR night... i've resigned to fate... i'm just waiting for my time to come i guess... considering my smoking and drinking intake will overtake alotta people... if i get past 50, i'll be amazed. crap. bloody brain's gone kuku now... yakking nonsense when this happens...

anyway,

dropped by gib's place with the rest of the gang... surprisingly everyone was free last night... boy was i lucky to have applied for leave... mahjong was the main agenda... with chivas and southern comfort! what a way to play... it's my way of playing! but the only screwup was that im sick ! yes ! after 5 months, im sick ! fucking flu ! ...1½ winds later, jacob, jj, mel n jianhui left... leaving the 3 of us all alone in a house... what else was there to do? ps2 of course... @&$^(@$... cant believe that alvin n i played a total of 16+ we8 matches straight for 4 hours+... my eyes see balls when they close now... still... leave is supposed to be spent this way... otherwise, my life would be so so dull... blabbering weird shit already... guess it's time to grab some rest...

anyway,

the feeling of sian-ness has never been so strong... so sian ! so shiok ! (-_-) whatmore im suffering from this fucked up bout of flu... grrr... ok. i digress. ...seeing my colleagues getting attached... i feel happy for them but in another way... i feel desolated... so now it's them who'll tell me, "eh i gotta meet my gf... can't meet you today... blah blah blah..." i'm feeling abit the "..." i guess it can't be helped... life's a bitch... but life is good and life WILL go on... i need to open my mind i guess... but i'd seriously like still being stuck in my small little hole... don't know why... maybe it's just me... don't like crowds... don't like to socialise... afraid to try new things... afraid... maybe thats just what i feel all the time... a small little boy looking on the world... waiting for it to engulf me in it's pleasures and dangers together with its sins... i guess... 2005 wasn't really as good as i hoped it would be... then again, since when after the millenium have i been really happy before? not very long... not very long... but then... shit happens... as i always say, you'll never know what will happen tomorrow... anything... ANYTHING can happen... so shit IS going to happen now. it's something called... sudden shit attack.