The worst enemy is your own.

= my speakers sing [nothing.] = & = i'm feeling... [very tired but blissful.] =

watched some dvds with her last night at home... 2046. what a totally freaking knnbccb boring show that is too deep for me. feel asleep several times. should switch to vcds in the future... at least my poor ps2 wouldn't be so tormented... haha. after which, sent her home in future-bro-in-law's car... she suggested a spin... so there we went... ended at some *sekret location* where she managed to psycho me into letting her drive... she did pretty well... n she managed to drive back home safely... although there were more then 1 tense moments... hahahahahaha.

anyway,

was supposed to watch a show with her today... woke up when she called, but fell asleep again with my blardy hp in my hand... (im so sorry my dear!) thus, movie was out, went to shop instead. (imagine that, LIM PEH go shopping !) well, did manage to purchase a pouch that i wanted so badly... met mao at caesars later in the evening n found out that basically almost all my friends want to grab a copy of MOS The Annual 2005 and mao had got it already. wth. ok la... splurged abit this month... but as i said to some1, its not the amount that you spend that makes you unhappy or not. if you spend the money and you're happy, then it's money well spent. she did get a present... sortta from me, well, it was from my sis... but i hope she likes it... gahaha.

anyway,

ended up at horlan v to meet up with her friends... 1 of'em was sortta celebrating his bday... it was cool n all. even to the extent when her ex came, i was pretty ok with it. surprised? hell yea i was. not that he was there, but the way i reacted... i think i've changed man. the old me would be soooo fucking petty, "dont talk to him" "he's there har?" "lets not go instead" i guess i've grown in a sense, pretty cool about everything. i really do have trust in her i suppose. otherwise, i think i would have really seriously contemplated smashing his balls to bits or just plain silly whacking as if tomorrow never comes. it's a really long story, but i cant really elaborate... complicated shit. cant say i wasn't affected when she was talking to him(jia gan chor.) but it's a normal thing to feel if you do call yourself a man. but... i just had to let her go talk to him... since i just want her to be happy and not restrain from being herself because of me... i guess thats what you call love? im contented la... at least, at the end of the day, the one in her arms would still be me... damn im fucking corny. (must have been the kilkennys n chivas.) head is spinning, need sleep. will go sleep. working in 4 hrs. hahaha. why do i feel that its a norm for me to be sleep-deprived? gotta watch it man, cant drop back to the sickly state i was in for the last 4 - 5 years... but... i do enjoy being deprived, at least that means im spending time with her... hahahaha what an ass i am.